Blog 55 Sacred Moments (Gary)
As I walk The Hill several times each week I try to lock each experience into my memory as though I may never be able to do it again. Just like the way I am playing ball with my dog right now. Yes, as I write this I am playing with my dog, Cedar. He loses the ball under the cabinet, and I have to get down on my knees to retrieve it. I will always remember these moments because it is a part of "our" game, a sacred game wherein life is precious because I know that his life is short. Not because he is ill but because he is a dog and he maybe has four years left. That kills me to know but at the same time keeps me conscious and holds "our" time as sacred. Not so different is my relationship with Mark.
We share much that I treasure, and I hold each walk sacred because that too may end. Either because he moves to establish his career, or moves away, or one of us becomes ill or dies. It all happens. Staying conscious is part of the walk, the walk of life. I could choose to ignore my feelings, but I choose not to because I also enjoy more of what I have. I am alive to walk and feel life fully, living each moment to its crest, rather than the way I used to do things, which was to feel like someone had to pinch me in order for me to believe the experience. Disassociation is another way to avoid pain.
I felt outside of my experience much of the time. I know I am not the only one who does this, so that makes it okay for me to disclose, right? I can feel my ego again. I certainly don't want you to hear that I have any flaws. Ha, that's funny, because I always tell my clients that I prefer humility, but now, with you, even though I probably don't know you, I have to be humble. It's a good thing. I know I have been a successful practitioner partly because I am real and willing to share my wounds, my teachings, what I have learned, and laugh at my flaws. It’s also a way of screening my clients for motivation. I only want those who are willing to join me, in a sense, and do their work, otherwise it is a wasteof time and energy for all. I know with all certainty that is what makes my men’s groups so rousing.
BUY THE BOOK