BLOG 25 Vietnam- Darkness Vs Light (Gary)

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Chuck dabbled in the dark side, along with my sergeant friend. God bless both of them. Maybe the light didn’t abandon me. Maybe the dark side corrupted me. My faith was tested more than I could endure, and I sold out. It was hard, so hard, to keep my faith when I felt so desperately alone. I have witnessed the dark side of fantasy, and I know it is a desperately lonely place. So I have my fantasies but I am alone in them. I have been taught well, so well that I am split. Have I abandoned myself, or my soul, to the dark side? Is it so hard to choose light over dark? Those attached to the dark side shall live here? In fear? Connection or detachment? Dark or light? Relationship with or without any? It comes down to a fear of relationship. With God or without? Light or dark? I am afraid of God. Sometimes I don’t want to leave the house. Maybe that is actually a good thing. Leave me alone, Oh Darkness. Let me be. Quit tantalizing me. Let me live here in my heart rather than a war-torn land. Would I then be back to being a child looking out the window at what others have, jealous of what I project I do not have, or would I finally be at home with a house filled with presence instead of the empty house I grew up in? As they say, a house does not make a home.

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