Blog 23 Fantasy or Addiction vs Vitality (Gary)
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Now there might be some confusion about addictions that can deceive you into thinking and feeling that you are being vital, but there is a difference. Addictions don't vitalize: they mesmerize. In other words they put you to sleep for a while because what you are experiencing is always a substitute for the real thing.
That's right. Think about it. You don't have to think or feel. Addictions disorganize it for you, and numb you out. It actually takes you away from your vitality or spirit. The physical feeling in your body is a distortion of reality in some way. It leaves you wanting and lusting. It steals the essence of who you are in order to have a sense of self. You have to give something up. Some part of you is stolen. It is a substitute for what, and is—real and could vitalize you. So what does vitality mean? There was still something missing. I have looked in many places, and occasionally thought I had it, but it wasn't there. I have touched it many times without grasping it. I think you know what I mean. There is something out there, but what is it? So much of therapy is finding a word that captures what is mutually felt; I mean feel it in your body, and all in the room connect with it. For me, most recently, in fact, in only the last couple days, I have found the word that expresses what I have been looking for: vitality.
The Miriam Webster Dictionary describes vitality as “the state of being strong and active; energy: changes that will give renewed vitality to our democracy. The power giving continuance of life, present in all living things: the vitality of seeds.”
So much for the dictionary definition: What is it about the seedling pushing its way through the concrete? It is persistent and shows no lack of effort. It is not only consistent and committed. I see it as containing its own energy to move without any outside nurturance because it “feels” a strong sense of purpose within itself. There is also an edge of joy in going beyond its little self to become something much larger. Vitality contains within it “vibrancy.” To me, it’s a vibe or vibration that hits my body and chimes within my whole being like a tuning fork and energizes me to respond in a way that fulfills a need to magnify its pitch to the next level. If I listen closely, it is so intense that I want to feel it again and again, each time with a greater passion than the first. It becomes a hunger to go beyond the mundane. Once I get the right vibe I become hungry to hear it again and again. The vitality is so strong that it is self-generating, like a song that keeps playing in my head that moves me physically and spirituaL.
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