Blog 59 Shadow (Gary)

I notice that sometimes we are in shadow and sometimes in light.  What a great metaphor.  This walk is a perfect exposure to all the elements, most particularly those within our self.  I also came across a black feather today, and wonder what bird has left a part of himself, and was it from grooming or from trauma?  Is he alive?  That, too, is symbolic to me.

            Can we rid ourselves of the dark parts?  It seems to me we can, but it is usually only through grooming ourselves to a different level of understanding, and letting those parts go, or through some trauma that forces us to change.  Most of the time it seems to me that we are forced to shift through some form of trauma.  Maybe this is a message for me to let go of something dark.  I don't take everything I see as a symbol or sign, but I feel quite often it happens the other way, in that there was a sign and I didn't pay attention to it, and should have.  So I look at today’s sign and ignore it only to look at it again now as I write.  I have slowed enough to observe from a deeper place and ponder the question.

            Is there a deeper sign here?  I play with it and have to say there is some truth in this possible message.  The more I let go of what fantasies lay in dark shadows, the more productive I am in writing this book or getting any task accomplished.

            I pick up the black feather and reflect on what magic it may carry.  As a matter of fact, it was resting in the shadow of the trail.  I carried it with me into the light.  It doesn't seem to hold much for me now, so I let it go.  How perfect, I think now, as so often I embraced something in a dark way, and when I thought about it—and by doing so brought light to it—it didn't have any value.  Of course, you deserve an example. 

 Surrender (Gary)

            “God damn would you stop whining!  You are becoming histrionic.”  Mark is testing my patience around surrender.  I say, "Ye of so little faith."  Yet ONLY he has ever been in this place.  That's my job just like it is his sometimes.  Not to fix but to listen, although I would claim he has more fixes than I.  Sometimes he doesn't want to listen long enough for me.  I surrender and listen.

            You see, I believe that it is useless to fight, or try to control certain events.  It feels to me that things always seem to provide a lesson or a better way that you won't realize until later.  Enough people have told me stories that were tragic yet in some way the outcome made sense.  Obviously, some things are just tragic, period.  My side hurts, yet I am setting too fast a pace for Mark.  He invites me to go on alone.  I slow up and tell him I will follow his lead.  I will walk with him.  We are not as fast today but we still make it to the tree in a great time.  We turn at the tree for the downhill, and our physical energy is spent as well as his angst.  We float down.  It has been a good hike.  We have seen only one bike rider and at least one of us has left a large piece of our load here.  We are quiet now.  Thank you, spirits of the mountain.

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